Breaking out of Completionist Mode

I’ve got a problem with my reading habits.

I’m in Completionist Mode.

In today’s world, it increasingly feels like we’re in a rush and at that, a rush to complete things, to tick something off a list. We have targets and goals, whether professional or personal, milestones we need to reach. And when we reach them, we barely acknowledge the achievement with more than a smile until 5 minutes later we are dissatisfied and looking to tick another box. And even rarer do we stop to appreciate the journey; the destination is on a pedestal and we don’t take our eyes off it.

Even in what for most are more casual endeavours such as gaming, Xbox Achievements and Playstation Trophies become an addiction, a compulsion to get that temporary dopamine rush that comes with completing some challenge.

I don’t know about other people, but when I complete a book, I get a buzz. A sense of satisfaction and achievement. I’ll freely admit that if my review then gets love on twitter, I feel a warm glow. If I love the book and my review is really complimentary, I’ll tag the author and if it makes them happy and it makes others want to buy the book then that wave of good feeling is extended.

I’m being genuine when I say I really enjoy and feel passionately about doing my small part to help authors and it’s probably why most of the books I’ve read have been new, self published or authors where my review might make an impact on getting the word out there. I haven’t yet read Sanderson or Erikson, for example and am not currently rushing to (although I do really want to read more Abercrombie soon and start Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy). It’s just that reviewing a book that thousands have already read does in some respects diminish some of that feel-good glow and possibly yes, an ego boost of being one of the early reviewers to tell others about a book.

This is probably why I have never re-read a book (save for listening to Andy Serkis’ narration of The Hobbit on audiobook, years after first reading the book as a kid). There is no new review, no telling people about something I’ve already told them about. No feeling of whittling down the TBR and ticking something off the list. I should have accepted by now that there is no such thing as whittling down the TBR because it’s always one book forward two books back as new and interesting releases appear. I could build a fort out of physical books and live to 200 on a desert island and still have enough new books on my kindle (if there was somewhere to charge it).

Anyway, I’m moving away from the point a little. The point is that the whole process of finishing a good book is usually very positive.

But have I become so addicted to this brief wave of dopamine and a panic to cross books off my list that I’ve lost sight of why I even became a reader and the pure childhood joy of being lost in a new world?

To an extent, I think I have. And it makes me sad.

I’m constantly looking at the percentage indicator on ebooks – surely that estimated time is overdoing how long I really have left? and how many hours are left on an audiobook – could I maybe increase the speed to knock a couple of hours off?

I get a good feeling when I’m halfway through a physical book and I can feel more pages in my left hand than my right.

Life is fast, but reading should be an opportunity to slow down. To enjoy getting lost in a story or to learn new things when reading non fiction. And I do enjoy it – I just want to be able to do it without one eye on the percentage or a mild anxiety about rushing through so that it feels more like I’m in control of my book pile.

So, I’ve come up with some rules I’m going to try and follow in order to just enjoy the journey of reading whilst feeling more in control so that it doesn’t feel like a rush to complete everything.

• Make a list of the 5 books I own with the story or subject I am most interested in reading and commit to definitely reading them over the course of the year.
• Make a list of 10 more books I also really want to read over a year. Only take on a new ARC/request/blog tour if the book would displace one of these books in my priority list.
• Spend a little more time reading and less time scrolling through Twitter, Instagram and Reddit.
• Only buy new books if it’s a hardback I absolutely must get before it goes out of print, or if it would make it into the top 5 books I want to read as listed above. Otherwise it’s just hoarding and adding to my sense of needing to rush to stop feeling overwhelmed.
• Take any books I DNF or am not enjoying to the charity shop. Begrudgingly wading though something just because I bought it doesn’t mean I’m extracting value from it; time is valuable too. Too valuable to read books that aren’t making me look forward to free time to dive back in.
• Try to slow down when I’m reading and really get into the imagination of the author, taking the time to picture events as if they are a AAA production and savour a good book. To see it as therapeutic as I would see going to a top restaurant or a spa/massage, or the wonder of nature. Not something to rush but to be a good thing for my mental health and be conscious of that feeling washing over me.

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Those are my thoughts!

Can you relate to any of the points made above? Have you had those same feelings or perhaps you are frustrated with your own completionist tendencies?

Let me know what you think or whether you have any other ideas! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the post.